Tuesday 19 May 2009

I should be like Desmo

This is Desmo. She and her foster sister Bodine are really good to me. They let me live in their house, wait on them hand and foot, sit on their chairs and sleep in their bed. And they know how to relax.

Relaxing is what I should be doing since I am on holidays for two weeks (yay!) but I am beginning to think that I am incapable of relaxing, even a little bit and that the zen-like level of contentment demonstrated above by Desmo is something I will never come close to.

Tomorrow I will turn 40 and to say I am apprehensive is an understatement. I know milestones such as these should be celebrated but I can't see past all the doors that are closing to me. Marriage, babies, raising a family - all I've ever wanted for my life is just probably not ever going to happen now. Of course it's not like flipping a switch, I've known my chances weren't good for a while, but 40 just seems so final!

So, if I have to have this birthday (and apparently I do), then I shall make the best of it. I am having a party on Friday night and a whole bunch of friends are coming, including a number that I haven't seen for many years. I'll be making a dress (of course) but I haven't started it yet (also of course).

And I'll try to practice being more like Desmo.

9 comments:

Reethi said...

Happy birthday in advance! You know, I've friends that were married in their twenties and are now getting divorced - I've often wondered if that's any better. Enjoy the birthday, the large circle of friends there for you, and the kitties...

Sew-4-Fun said...

Happy Birthday!! We all hate turning 40. It sux big time, but it is better than 50. :)

Kathie said...

Hey!
40 was one of my favorite birthdays! (and I've had quite a few since then!) Here's my birthday gift to you: Borrow, rent, or buy a copy of the DVD "The Secret" Watch it... then watch it again! When we start thinking negative thoughts such as "all I've ever wanted for my life is just probably not ever going to happen now" then that it what we get! Please don't let that happen to you! Open up to the possibilities in life... they're amazing and will be more than you could ever imagine if you just let them into your life.
Happy Birthday, Josie!

McVal said...

Happy Birthday tomorrow! I'm 43 and it's really not bad. You get taken more seriously from 40 on. Well... at least at the grocery store when you want to buy wine coolers... If they ask for your drivers license and they act like they think they're going to offend you, tell them they're sweet!
20s - young and inexperienced in life.
30s - more experienced, but you don't have time to enjoy it. Too much work.
40s - experienced in life and can take it easy now and then.
Have a great birthday! Lounge with your cats!

harbourmaster said...

happy birthday!! pfft, 40. no one else can explain complicated sewing techniques, gluten free recipes or give life advice quite like you, so thankyou for not acting your age and teaching me to act mine.

Kerrie said...

Happy Birthday Josie. Yeah, turning 40 can seem pretty scary. I'm in total denial that I'm not far from 50. You never know what's around the corner though. My brother married last year at age 44 and I don't believe he thought it would ever happen to him. Have a great time and celebrate the day in style!

Anonymous said...

From the bottom of my heart: happy birthday! And on getting older eatch year, I don´t remember who it was who said: well, it´s better than the opposite, isn´t it? On top of that, today, 40 is not really THAT old, I mean, you´re not turning 80! You never know what is around the corner, waiting for you. To me you are still young enough to marry and have babies. So: enjoy your day!
Hanna

Rose said...

Happy Belated Birthday! Enjoy life after 40 for many years!! Desmo has it right I think. He probably went to the same cat education school as my cat, Harry.

Mary Beth said...

yeah, yeah, all the above. Today is today, and who the heck who knows what'll happen tomorrow? Good things are in store for you, Josie, just you wait.